Become a Pro at Talking Dirty & Sounding Sexy
Everyone’s reacting to the stress of the pandemic differently, some with an explosion of horniness and others with less interest than ever in getting physical. Dirty talk can help partners get on the same page by opening each other up to all kinds of discussions around desire. When you’re out with your girls, getting ready to head home to your sweetheart, send him a text message that reads, “I’m on my way home and I can’t wait to touch you all over when I get there. In [the TV show] Never Have I Ever, there’s a scene where Paxton comes into Devi’s room one night and they kiss for the first time. “Fire for You” by Cannons is playing in the background. The first time I watched it, I thought, “OMG that song is the one.” It’s the only one that can spice up the mood all day, every day.
Foreplay
Dirty talk, when done correctly, can be a huge turn-on. There’s nothing like hearing exactly what your partner wants to do to you and how they’d like to do it, or hearing them compliment you on your intimate bits. Would they like you to do something that turns you on?
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But, as The Idol so skin-crawlingly illustrates, busting out these kinds of lines without warning can be at best intimidating and at worst degrading (and not in a sexy way). Your partner is having sex with you—borrowing phrases from some stranger on the internet can feel impersonal or affected, or even, let’s face it, cringey for both parties. To my great feminist relief, the show was universally lambasted by professional critics and internet trolls alike—it was the worst-reviewed show in HBO’s history. I mean, talking dirty is vulnerable, and I feared that seeing professionally hot people fail so miserably and publicly at it might be enough to silence a whole generation. I decided to phone a friend—actually, two of them—for advice on how to vocalize your desire without feeling like a rat-tailed club owner/cult leader on HBO.
Ways to Initiate Dirty Talk for Long-Distance Relationships
- I’ll walk you through the things to generally avoid, include, and steer clear of altogether, in order for you to dominate the world of dirty talk.
- It’s all about the delivery.One of the secrets to great dirty talk isn’t just what you say, but how you say it.
- There has even been research to suggest that dirty talk can increase a woman’s chances of having an orgasm.
Eventually, it will feel natural and get hotter and more intense. You have no idea what you’ve gotten yourself into. Why can’t I have you like this all the time, you’re my new addiction.
Also, pay attention to the way your partner reacts physically as well. Ask your partner what they’ve always fantasized about, and then pick a time to bring it to life. This can even be done before you hit the sheets, where the two of you meet out at a bar and pretend not to know each other. As Bethany Ricciardi, sex expert at Too Timid explains, people often also get turned on by hearing that a partner has these steamy thoughts about them. Our products harness the power of small moments – to create big change in your relationship. More of The Good Stuff is a digital product shop created by sex & relationship therapist and sex coach, Leigh Norén.
It’s also a good idea to cover who wants to start, how to signal when you’re ready to be done, and any words or phrases that are off-limits. Ultimately, getting in sync with what your partner likes and dislikes and any fetishes or kinks you each have is important for any intimate act, dirty talk included. “Trust is one of the most important elements to any successful relationship, and believe it or not, dirty talk can foster better trust,” he says. If you’re embarrassed to talk to your partner about your preferences, try writing everything down in a note and share it with your partner when you’re not face-to-face present with each other. This is a great way to express your needs and desires without directly seeing their reaction firsthand. “I just have a hard time with some of the things you said on your podcast. How can you be okay with things like toys, lingerie, and even talk about sex so…
Talking dirty to your man also works fantastically when you are dominating him, it can lend itself to creating an intense atmosphere if you do it right. You can add in some dirty talk while physically dominating him, but it’s even better for mentally dominating your man and reinforcing his submissive role. Dirty talk doesn’t have to be an elaborate production.
Using these dirty phrases throughout the day or sexting him when he’s in the middle of his work day is just as important as using them mid-coitus. It is important to note that clear communication, consent, and respect are vital to ensure that all individuals enjoy dirty talk. Therefore, it’s super beneficial to carve out some non-sexual time to engage in an open conversation about boundaries, desires, and limits. Well firstly, it’s important to note that everyone starts from somewhere and it’s completely natural to feel a little shy when it comes to expressing your desires and fantasies. “I want to reassure people that you don’t need to be a master, and that feeling silly in sex or laughing is sometimes all part of the fun,” says Lovegood.